Student's Satire on Green Movement
Chris High
Issue date: 1/26/10 Section: Forum
An area man in Newark recently received the "Greenest Citizen of Ohio" award from Denison's Campus Sustainability Club (CSC). Jeff McDevitt, the award's recipient, has been homeless for almost 15 years. In that time he has managed to make significant progress in what environmentalists call his "green number." McDevitt wastes no electricity, omits only small, sporadic, amounts of greenhouse gas and consumes only recycled products. "The only way Jeff could improve his green number," said a member of the Board of Green Accreditation, "is to reduce his ethanol consumption, which remains at an alarmingly high rate for a human being. At certain points in the day we are more than certain he becomes flammable and we are legitimately worried about the fumes his body may produce if it were to catch fire."
A common joke around the CSC describes Jeff as having King Midas' touch; "This man's environmental efficiency is truly incredible. He leads an existence that brings no harm to the earth," said contest judge Chris Hart "Jeff has no carbon footprint, and when he dies it will be like he never even existed […] to the earth."
"For decades," the club's President said during our recent phone interview, "the homeless have been the biggest proponents for an environmentally friendly lifestyle. They truly lead by example."
The award comes at a time when Denison is attempting to make reforms to better integrate everyday operations with a new plan for campus sustainability. "It is impossible to tell how long this impulse to go green will last," continued the club's President, "but we created the award as both a mark of recognizing those who are leading the charge toward a green America and as a means of motivating people who seek positive affirmation granted by a paper certificate." According to the CSC, there is no one who deserves this award more than McDevitt.
Denison recently asked McDevitt to visit campus and assist in this semester's Green Evaluation. "We showed him around campus and took notes while [McDevitt made] suggestions based on his lifestyle," said a CSC representative. Some of McDevitt's suggestions, which will appear in the next issue of the Campus Sustainability pamphlet, include changing sports games from the evening, which require an enormous amount of electricity to power the stadium lights, to the afternoon where the sun stands to provide a more appropriate amount of light. At the Homestead, instead of burning costly newspaper, he suggests using clumps of hair to kindle a fire.
A common joke around the CSC describes Jeff as having King Midas' touch; "This man's environmental efficiency is truly incredible. He leads an existence that brings no harm to the earth," said contest judge Chris Hart "Jeff has no carbon footprint, and when he dies it will be like he never even existed […] to the earth."
"For decades," the club's President said during our recent phone interview, "the homeless have been the biggest proponents for an environmentally friendly lifestyle. They truly lead by example."
The award comes at a time when Denison is attempting to make reforms to better integrate everyday operations with a new plan for campus sustainability. "It is impossible to tell how long this impulse to go green will last," continued the club's President, "but we created the award as both a mark of recognizing those who are leading the charge toward a green America and as a means of motivating people who seek positive affirmation granted by a paper certificate." According to the CSC, there is no one who deserves this award more than McDevitt.
Denison recently asked McDevitt to visit campus and assist in this semester's Green Evaluation. "We showed him around campus and took notes while [McDevitt made] suggestions based on his lifestyle," said a CSC representative. Some of McDevitt's suggestions, which will appear in the next issue of the Campus Sustainability pamphlet, include changing sports games from the evening, which require an enormous amount of electricity to power the stadium lights, to the afternoon where the sun stands to provide a more appropriate amount of light. At the Homestead, instead of burning costly newspaper, he suggests using clumps of hair to kindle a fire.
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