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Surviving the snow

A satire on Ohio weather

Sarah Wiley

Issue date: 2/9/10 Section: Forum
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Media Credit: Coral Breuer

You never know when that blizzard is going to hit (unless you check the weather reports on the internet or television, but who does that?), so during these long cold months it is best to always be prepared for the worst.


The first step is to stock up your dorm room with the essentials. Hot chocolate is of course a necessity, it's the only thing that can really warm you up from the outside in and is vital to survival of a snowstorm (unless you are not dependent on chocolate to keep your vital organs working). Blankets are necessary for warming in the opposite direction and are an especially important thing to have in case the power goes out, as we all know is not impossible here at DU (its possibly more impossible to not have the power go out with inclement weather). Also important is to have a stock of food so you have sustenance in case you get snowed in. You could also find yourself getting astronomically more popular as your dorm mates realize that you are the one who can provide them with the vital pop tarts and frozen pizza.


That will sufficiently stock your dormitory in terms of food, but you need to have the gear to be prepared if you need to go outside. (For some reason they just refuse to cancel class despite the abysmal weather). So next time you call home, ask them to send you a care package stuffed to the gills with hats, coats, scarves, gloves and mittens. When going outside, it is important to be wearing at least 10 layers, Denison buildings being so isolated and far apart you may get stuck in nature for quite some time. While wearing boots is a step in the right direction, if you truly want to ensure your safety, you really should invest in a pair or two of snow shoes, they are the most modern, innovative and comfortable option out there for snow travel.

Of course, there is always the chance that no matter how many precautions you take, you won't be adequately prepared for what nature throws at you, so it is always good to have a backup plan. So, if all else fails, make sure you're near that special someone seeing how it is Valentine's season; after all, human contact is nature's heater.
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